the above thing is what one of my friends’ said because i come with a an extra large baggage of complications no one wants to a part of.
some hard soul-searching gave me the answer as to why this statement was made – i make people love me , then make them repel me and then make them hate me. its a tough world and you have to mould yourself according to the given situation.
i myself don’t know as to why people around me like me or even more love me; maybe because of this combination of face-body-mind god has gifted me with.
god has given me enough reasons for others to love me and hate me and for me to regret the very day i was born. the endless troubles i have given people around me makes me hate myself to an extent that i myself don’t know where to draw the line.
all this while i was this “’self-obsessed’ bitch” people thought i was because they themselves found it hard to believe as to why i love myself so much. but who doesn’t love oneself??? just that i flaunt it and thats why i am labelled.
at the moment i really hate myself. given a chance, i rather end my life than be a cause of displeasure to all those around me. i have this innate quality of making people feel that i put them forth everything; even before myself. its not a hypocritical quality. i actually do put the other person the most important in my life without caring about myself. and when i feel think i should start thinking about myself, the other person feels neglected and blames me for not giving them a chance to making me feel that i am wanted. the sad part is that all this while they never realized that i had been waiting (just that i dint tell them that i was; but not everything can be so explicitly told).
i guess i am just sick and tired of taking care of people. i need someone to take care of me.
sorry to all those people who have been into stress because of me lately. you know i love you all and i understand you guys regretting to be my friend.
i just hope that at some point i was the reason why you smiled. do let me know what do you still feel about the whole thing.
Filed under: fragments | 3 Comments
you didnt called that day …
a ao….
Lol.. You wouldn’t believe how much your post reads like the pages of my diary..